I’ve never been a big fan of shaking hands and forgetting the name five seconds later, but how can I resist the quirkiness of introducing myself to a practically empty room? So by all means, let us proceed.

I’ll start with the part where I let you know that you don’t actually need to call me Ishmael, or anything else for that matter. I’ll settle for being the nameless goldfish that entertains you from inside his fishbowl. Come say hello every once in a while and feel free to tap on the glass.

As for what tricks I know to keep you amused… I has a camera and I like me some purdy pictures. All for your dissecting pleasure. I’ll even let you shoot them down – it’s fashionable and you might win a teddy bear.

And let us not forget – there’s always the lovely little side show of random, occasional rants and ramblings. As the poet said – one does not suffer from insanity, one enjoys every minute of it. But I’ll let you be the judges of that. And I’m getting ahead of myself, no less.

So, mesdames et messieurs, I bid thee good evening…